Sunday, February 14, 2010

Happy Valentine's Day!

There will be no Ten things i love Sunday post.
But a post about one thing i will love forever.

Here is my love story. It's very long. If you don't want to read it, or lose interest half way through, i completely understand.

I met Nathan my sophmore year of highschool. He was only freshman, I saw him around every now and then. We had a lot of mutual friends. He was obnoxiously friendly, to the point where it seemed kind of in-your-face. It was like he had the words “HEY, I WANNA BE YOUR FRIEND!” written all over his face.

A school year had passed, and in that amount of time, we had had a couple of conversations about bands I liked, and randomly he would tell me that he liked my shirt.

I walked into my first period class, it was the first day of my Junior year of highschool. I sat down at a desk, I didn’t recognize anyone in the class at first, so I tucked myself away in a far corner. Then I hear “HEY! That’s kara! Come sit over here with us!” Of course it was Nathan. Without thinking, I walked over, and sat down in his little pod of desks. He was sitting with his friend Justin, who I found to be completely bizarre, and almost repulsive. And over the course of my Junior year of highschool, Nathan slowly but surely became a wonderful friend. We talked nearly every night on MSN Messenger, he was in full blown puppy love with a girl in his class, and I was in a devastatingly hard relationship. We sort of became each others crutch. He helped me deal, and I helped him deal. And in the mornings we didn’t talk about the serious conversations we had the night before, he was back to picking on me in front of his friends and I was teaching him to cuss.

That summer I finally ended things for good with the terrible boy I was dating, and Nathan had finally won the heart of the girl he had been crushing on for so long.

I came back to school my Senior year, and he was obviously a Junior. He still had his little girlfriend, and I was single, and loving it. He sat and talked to me every morning before first period for about the first two months of school. And then, he just kind of stopped. He still walked passed us every morning, but he would never stop or say anything. We crossed paths several times a day transisitioning from classes, but we never spoke a word. Honestly, I was really hurt and I never understood why he didn’t want to be my friend anymore. I figured that it had something to do with his girlfriend, so I just dismissed it. When he walked past me in the morning me and my best friend would loudly make fun of him, and call him names, hoping he would at least turn around, and say something. But he never did.

I believe it was during spring break of my senior year, I got an e-mail from nathan. It was very long. He explained that he had just broke up with his girlfriend, and never wanted anything to do with her, ever again. He was very sorry for abandoning our friendship, and would love if I forgave him. I didn’t even have to think about it. I wanted him to be my friend. So, I instantly forgave him, and never gave it two thoughts. When I returned to school from break, I would see him in the halls, we would exchange “hellos” but never much more than that. Probably less than a two weeks from being back in school, a mutual friend of ours passed away. We were both grief stricken. I was the last person to be informed of his passing, so when I got to the auditorium where all of his other friends were, I sat in the back and just sobbed. I didn’t know most of the other people there. But I saw nathan, and I wanted to talk to him. Kids were sharing their thoughts, and I was just crying my eyes out, and staring a hole in the back of Nathan’s head. Finally, everyone stood up, and Nathan finally saw me sitting there. We embraced each other immediately. All I could do was cry, and I stood there, and he let me. And I just cried on his jacket. The passing of Todd really brought us back together. From then on we formed a super tight friendship. We called each other every night and talked for hours. His friendship became more important to me than I had even realized.

I graduated highschool, but nathan stayed back. He still had one more year.

That year passed very quickly. I always knew in the back of my mind, that Nathan was/had fallen truly and deeply in love with me. But I denied it and I did so for months and months. It never bothered me, but I didn’t want a relationship with him because I cherised our friendship so much. I knew in my heart that Nathan was right, and I felt his love for me, and knew that no man could offer that same love that Nathan did. It was unconditional, and pure. And everthing was comfortable between us. I think Nathan knew, that I knew. But, neither of us ever mentioned it.

I was planning to move to Kansas, and I really wanted to. My sister lived there, and I wanted to experience something new. Nathan never really said much about it. I never thought in my head that I would actually move though. Never once did I think I was really going to pack my bags and leave. I think I just wanted someone to tell me to stay. And Nathan certainly did. In a very loud way. Nathan told me how he felt, almost explosively. I couldn’t even comprehend what he was saying. He told me at the wrong place, it was the wrong time. It seems really selfish now, but I was really upset at him. I think I was worried that it would ruin our friendship. But it didn’t. Neither of us talked about it. We just dismissed that it happened, and went on about our lives. Still talking everyday, still being best friends.

It wasn’t until about a month later Nathan talked to me on the phone about it. He told me that he was truly in love with me. And he knew for sure that he was. He was positive, he had no doubts, and he was very brave. I told him, very flatly and honestly that I didn’t think that I felt the same, but I knew that we had something between us. About a month later, Nathan asked me to hang out with him, and I suggested that we make it a date. And everything about it was perfect, and normal, and funny. We laughed, and we were ourselves, and he dripped cheese dip in his beard at the mexican restaurant. I remember what I wore. I was extremely nervous, and i didn't want him to hold my hand. He bought me flowers. I remember what he wore, and how nervous I thought he must have been, and how he probably would have loved to hold my mind, but wouldn't dare try it.

I’m happy to say that me and Nathan are still happily in love. We’ve definitely shared a lot of differences as well as ups and downs. But, I truly treasure nathan and the love that we share. He is my best friend, boyfriend, and personal comedian. And while sometimes I want to beat him with a stick, because he’s SO immature, he notices when I paint my nails a new color, and compliments my hair. So, all immatureness is forgiven.

This has become much, much longer than I intended, and I’m sure everyone else lost interest in this story around paragraph 3. But, I guarantee that Nathan has not. And he made it to the end of this story.
So, Happy Valentine’s Day.
I love you!


  1. omgosh!! tht was the sweetest thing EVER!!!! i cried. lol im a sap for love stories. it should be a movie!!! for real. I hope you a nate had an AMAZING valentines day! and if the crazy independent kara that i love ever decides to get married.... i better get an invite! shew... i'll stop crying in a little while. lol <3

  2. This is adorable in every way! You and Nathan are spectacular. And so is your blog. You've inspired me, oh Kara.

  3. tarah! i'm soooo glad you're on blogspot! YIPEEEE!